Of Internet Drama, Trolls and Hissy Fits (part 2)

I recall that some years ago there was much public lamenting about the ever decreasing lack of communication and that people didn't seem to be writing much anymore. It appears that the Internet has certainly changed all that. According to the most recent stats I could find an estimated daily average of 210 billion emails are sent every day. Now, even when taking into account that many of these are spam (some sources citing numbers as high as 30%), others are trivial work email (Reply to All is the bane of the workplace, LOL), that still amounts to a significant amount of communication. Factor in blogs, message boards, newsgroups, listservs, wikis, RSS feeds and social networking sites and it doesn't take a huge stretch of the imagination to see that if anything, communication is booming in these days in Internet ubiquity.

But while we are talking to each other more than ever – albeit virtually – what is happening with the quality of that communication? Certainly, the Internet provides a fabulous means of opportunity not only to keep in touch with family and friends, but to make connections with people across the globe who share one's interests. People who would recently never have had any reason to meet due to distance are now able to meet and form virtual, yet nonetheless real, relationships. I met my fiance via a dating site. Despite the fact that we only lived 30 miles apart, we would never have met had it not been for the web.

It is my belief that a sense of community among virtual groups is a vital, growing thing. And, just as people can form a community based on shared likes, community can just as easily be created between people who share a common dislike.

I am thinking of a particular “anti-fan” community and what has happened to it. Of course,no anti-fan community could exist without a given celebrity having a legion of fans and a lot of public exposure. In a strange way, I think the ubiquity of this particular celebrity has insured the existence of a community devoted to pointing out his/her foibles and lack of knowledge. One might think, perhaps rightly, that such a group inherently be somewhat volatile, but over the years that I've participated on the site, I was repeatedly struck by a sense of cohesion among its members and a level of caring about each other that seemed unusual. Perhaps the “anti-fan anti-fans” who bash these members have unknowingly created a defensive “circle the wagons” attitude among community members. The community had a policy against trolling which was frequently breached by people eager to insult and denigrate those of us who did not share their love. Usually these trolls were banned from the community with little fanfare.

It all seemed quite shocking then when the moderator allowed a troll to run rampant over the community. After a couple of months of this harassment the truth came out that this person was in fact an employee of the site subject, had apparently befriended the moderator who then allowed him to uncontrolled access. The resulting drama of name calling, accusations and the banning of people who had been members for years made the board a very unpleasant place to hang out. The sense of betrayal among members was very palpable and real.

I suppose it is natural that communities on the Internet, being a reflection of the humans who interact on them, will be born, grow and eventually die. In this case, however, the community did not die; it merely moved to a new piece of virtual real estate. Despite the best efforts of some (I suspect well-funded) to kill the community, it lives on – minus its creator.

Some years ago I began online dating, and was frequently asked how real a relationship could be when you had not only not met the other party but in fact lived thousands of miles away from them. After forming friendships with various people, I can affirm the sincerity of those attachments. At one point I knew I would have to break up with someone online. The sense of dread was no less than had it been a local. The fact that it happened via email may have lessened the difficulty of doing it, but not the knowledge that I was going to hurt someone. The relationship is real. The feelings that result from it are real.

Even so, I think it's important to remember that the air of anonymity behind the monitor does enable a less than accurate presentation of who a person is. This may seem that I am contradicting myself, but an element of caution is never a bad idea. It may be easier for someone to mask a true identity in web-based communication but that certainly isn't anything exclusive to the Internet. I had been married to my ex-husband for several years before I discovered some secrets that he had quite successfully hidden from me.

What defines community when frequently its members have never met? Clearly it is more than simply staking out one's virtual soap box and shouting out to anyone with a search engine. I've been a member of an email loop since 2000. Despite our varying professions, families and interests and other life conditions, we have shared triumphs and tragedies, loves and losses, heroes and heartaches. We may have come together because we shared a certain interest on a message board, but it's been years now since we discussed the subject that was our original impetus for meeting. Members have come and gone but the community lives on.

Facebook Reconsidered

I've been hearing a lot lately about Facebook and its possible use by employers as a way to find information on a candidate that would be a deal breaker in hiring that person. On one hand, it's a given that as part of the screening process employers would dig up whatever they could as long as the search is cost effective. By the same token, candidates should do likewise to the employer. Come on, it's not a good idea, no matter how desperate the economy seems, to take a job with an organization that is clearly a bad fit. Personally I'd want to know everything I could before I accepted an offer.

Some make the counter argument that a person has control over their profile and the information posted in it and employers could only see what was there if they had specific approval to do so. However a recent news article about a teenage girl in the UK lost her job for posting a status update saying that her job was boring leads me to think that Facebook may very well make otherwise private information available to employers for a fee. Considering that until very recently they also claimed copyright to posted content, it doesn't seem all that farfetched.

However, were I the employer, I would be wary of information gleaned through such sources. There is no control over such sites that ensures the accuracy of the information contained therein. At least with a job application there are enough permissions and authorizations granted that if he lies on the application that is sufficient grounds even years in the future to warrant termination. I have accounts on social networking sites MySpace and Facebook, but not under my actual name, and the email address associated with them has nothing to do with the email address I use for professional purposes. Add to that the fact that there are several other people with my actual name on Facebook and Google -- but they aren't me. Sure you can pull up a name, but if it isn't the person you're considering, what good is the information? It just means that much loss of productivity by the HR department.

Another angle to consider is a candidate's right to have a social life examined. While it's certainly possible to post pictures of legal activities such as gun ownership and consumption of alcohol, these are still things that might cause an employer to look askance at you as an employee. And really, isn't the competition stiff enough already? Why give an employer the ammo to shoot you with?

I guess it boils down to a matter of discretion and awareness of online security. I would recommend that people use online email addresses and aliases that do not reflect their name or geographic location. Have a separate email address that is used exclusively for job searches. Have a social life but be smart about what you post. Realize that information can be retrieved even after you think you've deleted it. Be aware that even though we feel anonymous and omnipotent behind our monitors, the fact of the matter is that everything can be retrieved. Do what you can to make sure it doesn't come back to haunt you.

And don't, for God's sake, log in and post at work. Assume that your employer can see anything on your screen. is there really stuff so compelling on FB that it can't wait until you get home?

I still plan to use Facebook because it's been rather fun to connect with old friends, classmates and coworkers and to find people with similar interests. But even with my precautions, I plan to use a high degree of discretion.

Facebook gives employers clues to intelligence, personality
Why employers should reconsider Facebook fishing
How employers look at MySpace and Facebook pages
Employers leverage cloud computing to invade your Facebook privacy
Can Your Myspace Or Facebook Page Cost You A Job?

Humorous Clown Monkey Reply

Geez, I was beginning to feel neglected by the Clown Monkey Coalition because they hadn't spammed me for a while. I finally got a new email from them yesterday. They announced the 8th $100 t-shirt slogan winner.

Now, before I say what the slogan was, allow me to remind you that per their own site, they are about "humorous t-shirts and hoodies."

They posted the winner on the message board: "Jesus can only do so much."

Fair enough. At the time I looked at the board there was a reply (which frankly I can't believe made it past the moderators).

I though you guys were looking for something funny???

LOL But wait! It gets better!

....how is this funny? Where's the humor?

really??

Yeah that is pretty terrible.

turns out, they are easily excited with no sense of humor..lol "IM HUGE IN MEXICO IS FUNNY"?

Clown monkey who picks the winner? you guyz have either been trapped in a closet since the 80s and dont get out very much or have no if any sense of humor. By the way why are you screening posts you should just let people express themselves. I can say "Im huge in Mexico" to all of my friends over and over again and I guarentee you they wont crack a smile. "Im huge in Mexico" is not funny at all. What IS funny is that you think it is lol. Not hating tho hope you make great sales on these corny shirts.

No sure about this one.....

Not only is it not funny but it is offensive.

Yea, a little confused as to why they would pick this one. Very controversial.

Mine was funnier - but then you had to think to get it!

Of Internet Drama, Trolls and Hissy Fits (Part 1)

For a long time now, I've wonder what exactly it is about the Internet that makes people post crude and harassing posts to each other. I understand that it's easy for person to get sucked into a board controversy, take things personally, and lash out in ways they wouldn't dream of if the conflict was with a neighbor or someone in the workplace.

One of my oldest and most productive online friendships is with a person (I'll refer to her here as "Lois") who was routinely vilified on a message board, even though at the time I began posting there, she wasn't. Many discussions centered around how awful this person was and her supposed character flaws were dissected ad nauseum. I was accused of being this other person for months, I guess because our posting styles and opinions were similar. This had gone on for months when she made an appearance.

I was rather in awe. She was famous, if nothing else, for having made a definite impression on those boards. Tentatively, I emailed her and was a little thrilled when she replied. That was way back in 1998 and today we are not only online friends, we've met several times in real life and currently collaborate on various projects.

The intervening years have never been dull, however, as posters continued to accuse us of being the same person. The one who continues to cyberstalk Lois eventually and grudgingly accepted that we were not -- but only after she stalked us and gathered enough information to realize that we were in fact different people. Even though those boards have been pretty much dead since the host changed their format a few years ago, this woman continues to dredge up every bit of info she can on Lois. She posts a question on some obscure board, and her stalker is there commenting on it. Stalky even presumes to know intimate details of my friend's marriage and her husband's death. She has created multiple discussions about Lois' marriage, birth of her daughter, the relationship between Lois and her husband Ralph.

The stalker in question has claimed to be a teacher and if so, god help us all. Although after so many years online and after having seen scams of many stripes being circulated, I think it may very well be that she is simply a convict in a jail cell with a laptop and lots and lots of time on her hands.

To be Continued....

FaceBook

I've gotten various invites to FaceBook over the last couple of years and couldn't work up too much interest in it. Last week I got another one and signed up just so I could view a pal's Obama inauguration pics. I have to say that I am having a blast.

Such a blast in fact that I find I've been neglecting this blog. But FB is satisfying on so many levels. The invites I'd received in the past were still there. As part of the registration process I was prompted to allow it to search through my email address book. Although I find this sort of thing generally unsettling, I went for it. The result was that I was able to connect with people I thought I had lost contact with forever. People I dated, people I worked with, friends who had come and gone, friends of friends. My niece, my cousin. Finding out more on a daily basis about people I've been in regular email contact with for 10 years.

On the whole, FaceBook participation has been very rewarding and a lot of fun. I feel a little bit dumb that it took me so long, but ultimately very glad that I did.